5/8/2016 1 Comment Why Adoption?From my childhood, I remember how strongly I felt about adoption. It was the 'right' thing to do because you're helping an abandoned child have a loving home. It was a responsibility I felt I had because I was willing to shoulder it. To this day, I do have a healthy (meaning sizable) admiration for Ms. Angelina Jolie and her beautiful and worldly family.
Having said that, arriving back to the decision to adopt, the reasons are very different. I no longer think it's the 'right' thing to do for everyone. My reasons are quite situational regarding my age, my life priorities and my desire to connect to my own culture. It took a bit to get to this conclusion though. My first instinct when the possibility of a baby became real was to get to that infertility clinic ASAP and start the meds. I had looked previously into adoption but walked away thinking John and I were either too old or had too many divorces between us to be deemed worthy of applying. At this point, I had no time to waste and I loved the thought of having a baby with my and my husband's DNA. During this time, I had impromptu conversations with so many people who were older parents and nearly all through science, managed to give birth (many women older than I was and many giving birth more than once) to beautiful children that bring tears to their eyes when they talk about them. I talked to the mothers and the fathers individually (many during their eye exams - sorry for taking up exam time to help unknowingly counsel me) and no matter how they felt before the baby, they all beamed with joy after. I took the shots, John tested his baby making potential, we paid for all the options to give me that extra 0.5% ...it didn't work, we tried again... it didnt' work...then my doctor called and said he had a potential donor. She was perfect - 23, clean history, responsible lifestyle, Chinese...we signed up and paid the deposit. It was so perfect too because my sister was signed up for IVF the same month. What a cool story that was going to be. Long story short, sis decided it wasn't right for her and in a period of questioning if it was right for me, did more research on adoption. China was one of the easiest countries to adopt from and did not hold any of our stats against us. If we moved forward, we would be adopting a 'special needs' child - older than an infant and with some medical issue that we would need addressing at a level of comfort we would dictate. Not one ounce of me questioned if this was the way to go. I just had to tell John. He is an incredible partner and said he supported whatever it is that I wanted. What a feeling of lightness and security knowing I was doing what I really wanted. I didn't realize what heaviness I was carrying in my heart for the last two decades until that moment. I called Hoyt International and filled out the application.
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October 2016
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